Friday, October 31, 2014

10/24/14 Perspective

I had a Midwife appointment today. The baby's heart beat is strong and healthy. I am measuring at 33 weeks instead of 34. I am at 34 weeks. I haven't had consistent rhythmic contractions since last week when I went to get checked out. I evidently misunderstood my diagnosis by Patty last friday. She said I was having preterm CONTRACTIONS, not labor. Labor actually affects the dilation of the cervix, and mine was unaffected. Wendy, the midwife I saw today, doesn't seem to think I will have any trouble carrying this baby to term. She said that having a lot of contractions with a second baby is normal and she is not in the least concerned after reviewing all the information. She also said that after Halloween if I don't want to continue with my modified work schedule it's ok. She said at that point they wouldn't try to stop labor, so I won't have to be so careful. We'll see how this week goes and I'll decide.
If I look back and compare this pregnancy to the last one. It's quite rough. I had bad back pain, nausea and extreme tiredness for the first trimester. When those things let up, I caught a rather nasty upper respiratory illness that lasted 3 weeks and a little into the 4th. Around that same time, I started having contractions that were pushing my pelvic floor lower and I learned I have a cystocele. Between that and preterm real contractions the rest of the pregnancy has been rather uncomfortable.
During the rough parts I try to focus on the brighter points. Even through the nausea, I never puked. I found out that eating the white part of orange peals helps my nausea. My experience with nausea really wasn't as bad as many mothers' experience. My back pain was my disc acting up again. I already knew what to do about it. I just had to do the physical therapy exercises I learned last time, be careful not to bend or twist, and it only took 6 weeks to be back to normal again, unlike last time taking 16 weeks. I didn't have to take any time off work for it, and I have a loving husband who is pretty much always around and did a lot of lifting for me during that time. The respiratory illness came during camping and backpacking. It probably helped me make wise decisions about my capability and I learned that I could take benadryl after the first trimester and I was able to get some good sleep. The illness sure lingered but it could have been much worse. I don't have a whole lot I can say about a bright side to the cystocele. At least it isn't my uterus and the baby is safe. I am doing some physical therapy exercises to help, but am only able to achieve minimal effect due having the constant pressure of a baby and intermittent contractions to push on it even more. I worry what labor will do to it, but I really have no control over that and there is nothing short of a c-section to prevent that from furthering the problem and I would rather have to have a bladder surgery later in life than to choose a c-section for a chance at avoiding it. The contractions have helped slow me down so I am getting more rest pre-baby than last time. They haven't dilated my cervix pre-maturely and they may have helped brake the ice for me and being admitted to the hospital when labor does happen. Maybe that will be less emotionally traumatic for me now that I have been though at least their triage process and hung out in the triage room some.
I guess all this to say, sure it was easier last time but really it's not that bad. There are many other things I have not had to deal with. I haven't been on bed rest. I haven't had to decrease my hours at work, so far just changing them a bit is working. I haven't had horrible swelling or unbearable head aches.
I am so looking forward to meeting this little baby that God created without any medical intervention. I am excited to see what kind of personality he will have and how I will grow and change because of him. I am excited to start the journey of a family of 4 and see how we are stretched and grow though it. Just 5 more weeks until my due date, the time will fly by I am sure.
If I look back and compare this pregnancy to the last one. It's quite rough. I had bad back pain, nausea and extreme tiredness for the first trimester. When those things let up, I caught a rather nasty upper respiratory illness that lasted 3 weeks and a little into the 4th. Around that same time, I started having contractions that were pushing my pelvic floor lower and I learned I have a cystocele. Between that and preterm real contractions the rest of the pregnancy has been rather uncomfortable.  I had a Midwife appointment today. The baby's heart beat is strong and healthy. I am measuring at 33 weeks instead of 34. I haven't had consistent rhythmic contractions since last week when I went to get checked out. I evidently misunderstood my diagnosis by Patty last friday. She said I was having preterm CONTRACTIONS, not labor. Labor actually affects the dilation of the cervix, and mine was unaffected. Wendy, the midwife I saw today, doesn't seem to think I won't have any trouble carrying this baby to term. She said that having a lot of contractions with a second baby is normal and she is not in the least concerned after reviewing all the information from when I got checked out last week. She also said that after Halloween if I don't want to continue with my modified work schedule it's ok. She said at that point they wouldn't try to stop labor, so I won't have to be so careful. We'll see how this week goes and I'll decide.
During the rough parts I try to focus on the brighter points. Even through the nausea, I never puked. I found out that eating the white part of orange peals helps my nausea. My experience with nausea really wasn't as bad as many mothers' experience. My back pain was my disc acting up again. I already knew what to do about it. I just had to do the physical therapy exercises I learned last time, be careful not to bend or twist, and it only took 6 weeks to be back to normal again, unlike last time taking 16 weeks. I didn't have to take any time off work for it, and I have a loving husband who is pretty much always around and did a lot of lifting for me during that time. The respiratory illness came during camping and backpacking. It probably helped me make wise decisions about my capability and I learned that I could take benadryl after the first trimester and I was able to get some good sleep. The illness sure lingered but it could have been much worse. I don't have a whole lot I can say about a bright side to the cystocele. At least it isn't my uterus and the baby is safe. I am doing some physical therapy exercises to help, but am only able to achieve minimal effect due having the constant pressure of a baby and intermittent contractions to push on it even more. I worry what labor will do to it, but I really have no control over that and there is nothing short of a c-section to prevent that from furthering the problem and I would rather have to have a bladder surgery later in life than to choose a c-section for a chance at avoiding it. The contractions have helped slow me down so I am getting more rest pre-baby than last time. They haven't dilated my cervix pre-maturely and they may have helped brake the ice for me and being admitted to the hospital when labor does happen. Maybe that will be less emotionally traumatic for me now that I have been though at least their triage process and hung out in the triage room some.
I guess all this to say, sure it was easier last time but really it's not that bad. There are many other things I have not had to deal with. I haven't been on bed rest. I haven't had to decrease my hours at work, so far just changing them a bit is working. I haven't had horrible swelling or unbearable head aches.
I am so looking forward to meeting this little baby that God created without any medical intervention. I am excited to see what kind of personality he will have and how I will grow and change because of him. I am excited to start the journey of a family of 4 and see how we are stretched and grow though it. Just 5 more weeks until my due date, the time will fly by I am sure.
Being cute with a Red Robin balloon.

I love his little smirk. 

He went from tripping over himself trying to get away when the vacuum was turned on to swatting our hands away and just wanting to do it himself in about 10 minutes the other night. The carpets are sure cleaner with this new activity. 

Thursday, October 23, 2014

10/23/14 Mommy thoughts and reflections.

    I recently read a birth story on one of the blogs I follow. The laboring mom was talking about how it was hard for her to say goodbye to her toddler even while in labor because she knew it was the last time he would be her only child and that her affections would be divided between the two, so to speak, the next time she saw him. I breezed over it and didn't really think anything of it.  I certainly didn't expect to experience anything like it.  But, ever since I have started to have real contractions, and especially since I went into preterm labor, I have been thinking a lot about how these are my last days with Josiah as my only child. This is the most focused I'll be able to be on just him. This is the most one on one time I'll ever have with him. I want to hold onto every moment. I rock him a little longer at naps and bed times. I drag out play and games longer.  I hug him longer (which he isn't fond of). I am excited to expand our family and to teach Josiah how to be a good brother, but at the same time, I feel something slipping away from me. My time will be divided. I want it, for sure. I don't want to have an only child.  It's just that it is so special to be able to give him all that undivided time and attention that I'll not get to do with my other children. It's a weird feeling for me, and sometimes it brings me to the brink of tears.
    Needless to say with all this sentiment, I have been paying extra close attention during our play and our fun times soaking in every moment and every bit I can make myself remember about it. 
    I really enjoyed this day of just 20 minutes of play with his friend Jess. They had a lot of fun on the swings. Josiah did the slide a few times, but wanted to hold someone's finger each time on the way down. He almost pushed Jess down once. He did push him a few times in the swing, which did more to stop the swinging than to help it. It's pretty fun to see them interact with each other. They are very different, but seem to like each other well enough. Or at least Josiah really likes Jess, and Jess puts up with him.
    Josiah gets most his rough and rowdy play out with Papa throwing him around and playing with him. I am not the best at that kind of play.  I'll do it sometimes, but he gets a lot more giggles out when he is playing rough with Papa.
     I am working on some more quiet, sit still, practice dexterity types of entertainment for Josiah to use at restaurants... or while I am nursing and Bryan wants to get something done... or needs to sleep or something. Play dough is one of them. I was thinking I need to get some play dough tools, but at first go, Josiah spent an hour sitting on the couch putting the containers in and out of the bag, opening and closing the zipper, opening and closing the play dough containers, and matching the colors up with the lids to put them back in. Maybe the tools can wait until Christmas and this will then be a whole new toy.
    Also in the works, I have a bag of hot wheels cars and trucks, a bag of foam paper and safety scissors, a bag of stickers and a photo album to stick them on/in, a bag of night stuff (glow stick, flash light, glowing toys, and a press on LED light), and I am working on more.
    I took this photo because I don't have many pictures of Josiah this big in his cloth diapers and we are planning on starting potty training in the next week or so, and I wanted a diaper picture or two for memories of adventures with cloth. Of course, any other kids we have will wear them too, but still I wanted a picture, or a few. 
    We have been doing a lot of pre potty training prep work with Josiah. We have been talking about using the potty, how we use the potty, and showing him his potty. We talk about how poop in diapers is gross and how we poop on the potty instead. We have been teaching him to pull his own pants up and down and many more things. Tonight, after the shower but before getting ready for bed, Josiah was acting like he needed to go. It took about five minutes of one of us sitting on the toilet while we both encouraged him to get him to sit on his. He didn't want to be on there, but once he did it himself and we praised him and clapped, he got all excited and did it over and over again. We were pretty excited for this new step closer to actual potty training and thought that him sitting down and getting up was all that was going to happen, but then Josiah peed in the potty... twice! Maybe he is almost ready. Now we just need a three day stretch where we go nowhere and do nothing but potty training. Potty training a 20 month old might actually work!
This is a video of one of Josiah's new favorite games. He loves jumping off of things. This one could get crazy and dangerous soon, but for now off a 18 inch ottoman onto a bean bag is cute. 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

10/18/14 Preterm Labor at 33 weeks

I am 33 weeks pregnant and a day today. I worked 2 twelve hour shifts in a row the last two days. Thursday was a rather busy day. I was resource for 8 hours and had a busy patient group the last 4 hours. Friday I was resource for 6 hours, the day shift charge nurse went home sick at 1:30 and I took over. I did some walking and a few boosts up in bed, but nothing like what a 12 hour day of full patient care would be like. I had contractions and the ends of both shifts. Real ones not just braxton hicks. They were very strong, probably 10 an hour, and painful and causing shooting pain down my legs and period like cramping by the end of yesterday's shift. I called the maternity floor for advice. They called my midwife, who was there, and she said since this is the 3rd time this has happened to me and since I was already there I should come get checked out.
They put me on the baby heart beat monitor and the contraction monitor for about an hour. I had 6 contractions up there, just laying down resting. The baby's heart beat is 145 isn beats a minute and more when he moves and more when I have a contractions. He is moving and kicking a lot. They say because he is fighting off being squeezed. He is head down and rotating very low into my pelvis. My midwife, Patty, came an talked to me and did an exam. She said that my cervix isn't dilated (hurray!), and that is is spongy (like feeling my cheek, not like feeling my nose like I learned with fertility stuff). When I asked if that was normal, she was inconclusive in her response. I think it's normal for it to start softening, but maybe not that soft. Also she said she could feel the baby's head though it, and that seemed to be another part of the not normal. She confirmed that it is my bladder that is causing the perineal pressure I feel. She said this is real preterm labor and that we need to stop it for at least 3 more weeks and hopefully 4 more. We talked about a plan and she said we could try just working one day at a time so as not to decrease my hours yet. If it works, good, if not then she will recommend just 8 hours shifts instead of 12 hours. Things she mentioned are usually problems with twelve hour shifts are not drinking enough water and a long time up walking. Since I didn't have those problems the last two days she figured we could try just one at a time and see if that helps me.  She wants to have me come to the clinic for an appointment on Friday next week to see how one day at a time is going. She also said if I have the real contractions consistently again and if I lay down and can't get them to go away I need to get checked out again. She suggested not lifting Josiah and resting though out the day as much as possible.
After talking about how my labor went with Josiah and what the week leading up to it was like, she seems convinced that my body is going to do it's best do deliver this baby even earlier than Josiah came. She suggested that I do nothing that would encourage cervical dilation (i.e. no sex) until it is safe for the baby to be born. He is still too little.
So here I am on the couch resting looking at my room, that isn't set up for the baby yet, thinking about packing a hospital bag, looking at my garden that needs prepped for winter and potatoes that need dug, and just sitting on the couch resting. I will probably try to do a few things but Bryan is probably going to have to do most of the work for a while.  Poor guy, he already does so much! I guess the bright side is my days of discomfort with pregnancy are numbered. Although it might be a lot more uncomfortable than last time, it probably won't be a 42 week pregnancy. We'll see. I leave it all in God's hands and I'll keep telling myself that the import thing for me to do is to keep this little one safe and inside growing until he is big enough to not need a NICU.
 So I'll be doing my best to rest for the next few weeks. Even if it is inconvenient.
 Because sometimes I'll just need to lay down for a minute.
 I will work on de-stressing and remembering to keep a serene spirit.
Go to these places in my mind and keep calm.




2nd Pregnancy Reflections

I find myself looking back though my blog posts and pictures trying to remember what it was like last time I was pregnant and how it is different this time. I guess I need to keep blogging because I want it for my own memory.
We are pregnant again. What a miracle this time. We weren't trying. We had decided not to prevent or even chart on a calendar just because we had to have fertility help to conceive Josiah. Then one day nursing started to hurt.
(Yes I made it past teeth and past 1 year and stopped at 1 year 2 months when it was hurting so bad from pregnancy and when Josiah was getting so fussy and not nice about nursing. There was one awkward prenatal appointment with a lumpy breast exam due to backed up ducts because it had been almost a week. That same day when we got home before nap, Josiah asked to nurse, he nursed nicely we both enjoyed it and it was the last time. I expected it would be and already thought we were done when he asked that day. The ducts were all unplugged and we both have a good memory of the last time for him.)
I avoided taking a pregnancy test for a while, thinking I was imagining symptoms. When I could ignore them no longer, I realized that, if I was pregnant, the due date would be very close to Christmas. Thanks to the timing of my own birthday, I was not thrilled about that idea. After a day or two of that fear I finally used a due date calculator and found out the date would be the first week of December. I decided that wasn't bad at all and so the next day I bought a few dollar tree pregnancy tests (figuring I'd have more scares like this each month). The test was positive right away. I actually brought the test out so Bryan and I could watch it change together. We spent the morning talking about potential baby names and didn't tell anyone even family for a few days while we got used to the idea.

The stats:
due: December 5, 2014
2 kids under the age of two
gender: found out it was a boy (after the only name we could agree on was a girls name)
name: we have had a lot of trouble with this but will probably go with Timothy Jacob Wright since is the only thing that hasn't been thrown out by one or the other of us.
symptoms: at first nipple pain, then nausea and lots of it didn't go away till 22 weeks, but no vomiting, tiredness, and rapid first trimester weight gain (7 lbs in 12 weeks...)
social: Katie and Melissa also pregnant with girls. Katie's born in August and Melissa wasn't due until October 8th, but delivered in early September.
Josiah and Natalie. 
Josiah and Eleanore. 
I have been seeing the midwives at Providence Maternal Care Clinic since we moved to the country on the east side. I will be delivering at PPMC. I think it'll be ok, but if I had a different choice I'd probably choose to be some place where I don't know so many people. The prenatal check ups have been great and just the way I like to receive care. They give me information and let me make decisions. 
Now that I am 32 weeks along I am having some complications. It keeps being changed what it is, but I think we are settling on some partial bladder prolapse, or decent or something. It is causing parineal bulging and discomfort. I have been assured that my cervix is up where it belongs so the baby is safe, and that isn't the problem. I just have to go to OT for exercises and maybe some day need a bladder surgery to hang it back up where it belongs.  I have a lot of contractions braxtin hix mostly but I had one hour of real ones. The real ones were probably related to the uterus needing more oxygen and me being a bit anemic. My hemoglobin count was 10.8. Good hydration, careful positioning when sitting, and iron supplements have helped. I am way less fit than last pregnancy, maybe not less active, but I sure can't run or move quickly and I think stairs are worse than they were before.
I haven't had any troubles continuing to work yet though! I am hoping to squeeze as many work days as I can in before the baby comes to maximize my available work time. I will probably end up with 3 of my 4 months of leave unpaid. If he comes on time or early and I am feeling up to it we will probably try to travel to California for Christmas to see my Dad's family and to see Bryan's family, since this is probably one of the only times I'll have this much vacation around Christmas.
Being pregnant with a toddler has proven to be hard for me. I try not to lift or cary him much because the pressure makes the bladder thing worse. It is hard to have the energy to keep up with him and to have the creativity to keep him busy and happy without over wearing myself out. The late summer weather has been a blessing since we can be outside so much. He loves to be outside and doesn't mind playing out there with me just sitting and watching. It's been fun watching him with babies. He seems to love them and want to snuggle them and pat on them like he does for affection, just sometimes a bit too hard. He doesn't seem to understand why we pat my belly and say baby and not his or anyone else's. He also doesn't get why each boob isn't also a baby. We'll see if he figures it out before his brother comes.




Monday, October 13, 2014

10/13/13 Moving

We have been working hard on getting our home ready to sell. Some of our friends moved to a great place on 5 acres and we were so jealous that we have decided to not delay our move to the country. We had a lot of work to do to get our home ready. It took 3 weeks but we got it ready! So far I think we might be a little over prices but people are coming to look at it and we can drop our price whenever we want.
We actually really enjoyed all the hard work. We have had fun looking at and drooling over new properties. Really what matters to us is the land so the things we like have rather different homes on them, or no home at all. I am so excited that I am a little crazy with each home showing. 
We chose a place between Oregon City and Estacada within 10'mimites drive to the Reese's. We put in an offer without even seeing because Derald thought we were just looking at lots of land the day we saw it and the next day when we decided it fit our criteria (treed land with a sunny space for a garden, secluded, 5 or more aceres, within 10 minutes of the Reese's and within 45 minutes of my work and was immediately livable) and was a good price we asked Derald to ask their realtor let us know if they get an offer so it didn't get sold before we saw the house. He asked right then with me on the line and found out (at 3pm) that they had 2 offers and would be deciding at 6pm. Derald was 5 hours away in southern Oregon at a property inspection but got to a town with a Remax office faxed us an offer to sign and got it to the relator in time for ours to be considered. We were chosen and Bryan felt sick the rest of the night due to the hasty decision and not knowing what condition the house was it. It all worked out and we love it here!