12/3/14 Birth Story

39 weeks 1 day taken Saturday

Timothy Jacob exited the womb and entered the world at 8:02 November 30, 2014. He weighed 8lbs 6oz, was 21 inches long with a head circumference of 13 3/4 inches.
I had a lot of wishes come true with this labor. I got to eat Thanksgiving dinner with my family on Saturday. My list of things I wanted done before baby came was completed for me by my amazing family. I even got to play some games and take a walk after dinner.

I started having contractions as usual at night on Saturday while playing games with Twi and Jason. We had moved onto a kind of game that frustrates Bryan, so he chose not to play and went to bed around 11pm, so he got a bit if a nap before the action. We played that game until 1am. When we were done, I went to the room, got ready for bed, laid down, and started talking to Bryan. He was trying to tell me about a show he found on NetFlix, when I felt warm wetness coming down my vagina. I interrupted him with, "That's weird, I think my water is breaking." He ran for a towel and got it under be before any of it got the bed. We do have a waterproof mattress cover. I guess Bryan didn't know that, but he's still pretty pleased he saved the sheets from getting wet at all. I made it to the toilet with the towel between my legs. Every time I moved more water came out. I guess you could say I had the kind of brake that was more like a big leak but not a burst by any means. 

When my water broke, the contractions got immediately stronger and were coming every 2-3 minutes. I could still talk some during them but it was like forcing myself to remain conscious when my blood pressure drops and I don't want to faint. I am there, but not really all there.
I called the midwife clinic and they said that Joanna was on call and would call me back. In about 10 minutes she called and wanted to know the color and amount of the fluid. I told her it was pink and that it soaked everything from the waist down every time I changed positions. No large sanitary pad could contain it. She said my contractions although frequent weren't too horrible yet since I could talk though them. She said I could stay home a while and try to deal with them, or we could head in. She said she would wait until the nurses checked me when I arrived before she went in. We decided to leave for the hospital after soaking though 10 more sanitary pads and several pair of underwear, shorts, pants and skirts. It was crazy awkward trying to stay quiet, and decent (doing this because Twi and Jason were staying at our house).  With the cold weather (cold front with a low of 27 for the night) making for possible icy roads, and a 45 minute drive to the hospital with already bad contractions, I was pretty sure I didn't want to try to stay home as long as possible. Packing up took a while. Bryan got some heat packs ready for the truck ride to help with contractions. He put the hospital bags in the truck and started it so it would warm up. He made a fire for everyone staying at the house to keep it warm. We packed me in the truck wearing a skirt and warm top layers at 3am. I sat on a towel and had a change of underwear and some track pants to put on for walking into the hospital. On the drive in I practiced complete relaxation though contractions and applied heat. It made them tolerable for the most part with the exception of bumps and occasional tight corners breaking my concentration. We got to the hospital just before 4am, I changed out of my skirt, and we walked into the ER. They wheeled me up to the labor floor after getting some information from Bryan. I was pretty nonverbal and inattentive at this point. Surviving contractions was all I could focus on and then resting between.

My nurses and the pretty art the doula Melissa drew for us

I was in triage for about 45 minutes to be monitored. It was strange that I wanted to lay in the bed. I found that all my complete relaxation practice in the truck made the contractions better when I laid down and relaxed than when I was up moving. I didn't know it at the time, but Timothy, although head down, was sunny side up which may have been the reason I felt better laying still relaxing than moving around. I was really thirsty the whole time, but they wouldn't allow me to drink anything until they got admit orders for me. My urine was dark in hue when I gave the sample, and I knew I was dehydrated. I guess I wasn't going to fix it with water at that point anyhow. I survived the thirst. Timothy wasn't very active at first on the monitor, but eventually moved enough that the nurse felt she had a "reactive strip" whatever that means, and they checked me into my L&D room. While we waited for the nurse to come in I suddenly felt nauseous and hung out on the bathroom floor in front of the toilet. Oh, did the contractions hurt in that position, but I didn't know where else to go if I was going to throw up. I managed not to, and the nurse arrived soon after. She gave me a graduated cylinder to hold onto just in case,  and I went back to the bed. She took my blood and asked me if I wanted her to just start an IV in the process. I told her that was a good idea and asked for an IV bolus because I was so thirsty and I remembered having such low BP after Josiah was born. I got the fluids and a lot of water to drink. I was shivering like crazy. IV fluids always make me very cold. Warm blankets helped a little. Melissa, the doula from the midwife group, arrived about the same time as Joanna the midwife. Joanna checked me because I was afraid to trust that my body would not try to push before my cervix was completely dilated. I was at 7cm, so I continued resisting any pushing urges. I didn't want to tear my cervix. They got me in the tub which felt good and stopped my shivering. I was able to completely relax between contractions, but the contractions were bad. I started asking Bryan for counter pressure during them. Poor guy, having to lean over the tub to squeeze my hips so many times. He thinks I was in there 2 hours. I think it was just one. (I think it was something like 4am in triage, 5am arrive in the room, 5:45 finish IV bolus and get in the tub, 6:45 out of tub, notice it's daylight outside, get situated in the chair to push because I can no longer resist it.) I had several strong contractions that made me want to be out of the tub, because i could hardly resist pushing with them. Melissa had me try one on my knees leaning on the back of the tub, and that didn't feel as good as standing before I ever got in the tub did, so I got out. I stood though a few contractions with Bryan. I just rested my head on his chest my arms on his and just swayed my hips and relaxed my muscles while Melissa, the doula, squeezed my hips. I think we just did 4 contractions like that and I ended up pushing a little with a couple of them because I couldn't stop myself. The nurse had the birth chair ready for us. It is a crazy looking thing but boy was it nice. Bryan sat in back like on a motorcycle looking back seat. I sat in front on a bit more than half circle seat and had a sheet to hold onto dangling from above and Bryan to lean back on. At first or second push in the chair, I broke a "fore bag" of water.  It was quite a satisfying push. It made me visualize and dream of pushing him out in just a few pushes. No such luck. After 30 minutes of pushing, Joanna checked me and said there was a small anterior lip of my cervix. Melissa suggested that maybe I try leaning back more when pushing since the lip was in the front to try to push the baby under it. I could feel him coming down a lot more when pushing that way so I continued. I really liked how I could feel the movement and progress with pushing in the chair and could adjust my pelvis and the tilt of my body to help him come out. It didn't seem like too long before Joanna said she could see the baby's head. Right then Patty came in. I guess it was time for her and Joanna to change shifts. Joanna told her to get dressed. Lots to burning sensations, tons of discomfort in rest periods, and 4 pushes later Timothy's head was out and he was face forward. They were all surprised since I didn't complain of back labor. There was lots of instruction to go slow, to slow down, but I think I only waited one push and all of Timothy came out. They handed him up to me and I got to hold him. Bryan cut the cord after about 3 minutes when it finished pulsing. It was just minutes after that I got uncomfortable and pushed the placenta out.

cutting the cord

cutting the cord

getting cleaned off a little

At that point everything becomes a whirlwind. I got dizzy leaned back on Bryan. I am sure I had little to no blood pressure. Since it was shift change for the midwifes and doula's and there was a baby nurse and my nurse, they all kinda just picked me up and put me in the bed. I think they gave me a 1/2 liter of fluids and some pitosin. I kept shaking from exhaustion and cold from the IV fluids. Bryan and the doula were putting warm packs on my thighs and warm blankets on me.  I was crying out in pain form the pushing on my abdomen. Also the Doula was trying to help Timothy latch and that hurt like crazy and made me jump and  yell. The poor surgeon who was stitching up my tear kept asking "Was that me?" It never was. She got me pretty numb. I moaned once from a stitch right at the end that I could feel but the rest of the discomfort was the nursing attempts and trying to compress my uterus. I guess Patty got the surgeon because the tear was partially into my rectum and she wanted to make sure it was done right for function and cleanliness.
When the stitches were done I was so happy to put my legs back together again. I just turned on my side and snuggled with Timothy. I was trying to preserve that sweet first moments with my son that I get robbed of with all the medical stuff that happens to me right after birth. It got better from there on. I did have trouble peeing and had to be straight cathed once. It took until 12:30 in the afternoon before I could stand without much dizziness. They moved me to the postpartum room at that point. Things got even better there. We got rest, had visits from family, got to see Josiah and I got to eat a lot of food. We stayed in the hospital for 2 nights and went home Monday at noon. They even wheeled me and Timothy through my unit so I could greet everyone and show off Timothy. I am so happy he's here.

first bath

foot prints

weight

we're all exhausted

11/29/2014 39 Week Pregnancy Update

Warning: this post is full of details about how early stages of labor/late stages of pregnancy feel to me. I use medical terms and list it bluntly, so if you don't want to hear it don't read it. This is for me and my memory of how this went, because I am discovering my memory of how it went with Josiah is a blur.

38 weeks 6 days. Was having such bad contractions that night that I wanted one more picture just in case it was the last. 

I am now more pregnant than I have ever been. Josiah was born at 38.6 weeks. Today I am 39.2. My theory is that with Josiah my body was forced to ovulate at day 14 of a 28 day cycle and my cycles not on mediation are more like 32 days and the delay has been before ovulation. So if I use that delay to put this pregnancy at the same time with the last, I would expect this baby to be born about 4 days later than Josiah was to have the same time gestation time. That put's it at December 1st. We'll see. This has been quite confusing for me.  Every evening I think, "This is probably the night I will give birth," and then I succeed in sleeping. I still get up a bunch of times due to contractions and a full bladder, but then succeed again in falling back asleep. When morning comes my body isn't contracting regularly any more. Each night the contractions get stronger, except for last night. I commented that I was going to laugh really hard if it was the night we went to the hospital since the contractions were much milder than the last 3 nights. It didn't happen though. I did wonder when I woke up at 2 am because of some bad contractions but they let up after I went to the bathroom, so I slept again. Each night around 5-6 I start having contractions about 5-8 minutes apart. They cause period like cramping in my low abdomen and back. I feel a low of pressure in my pelvis and I at times can't keep sitting or laying or walking or whatever I am doing. They are always easier if I can relax my upper body and if I can sway my hips.
Two days ago I started to loose my mucous plug. Bryan and I stopped following the Dr.'s orders to not do anything that might progress labor ;) and that probably contributed to the loss of the mucous plug.  It has been a 2 day process of pink to blood tinged mucous coming out, like the light day of a period, except with more pink to red than brown colored. No big chunks came out, just gooey mucous. I feel really cramps all the time like it's my period weather or not I am contraction. When I have a contraction it just makes the cramp sharper and the pressure much greater and makes me catch my breath and squirm.
Feeling even just the tiniest bit constipated seems to make the contractions extra bad, so I ate a lot of fiber and significantly increased my fluid intake. It took a couple days, but that doesn't seem to be a problem any more. However now I have to go almost every time I go to the bathroom. I think the baby's movements and the contractions are overstimulating my poor colon.
I am pretty sure I can tell the baby has dropped. I can fit a whole hand between my chest and my uterus. The part of my belly below my belly button seems much bulgier. Also, the rib pain that I have been feeling is also much less meaning that the baby is not pushing up on them like he was.
I got a stretch mark which is new to me. It is down low maybe below the pants line even on low rise pants, and it really isn't much compared to what they can be. We'll see if I get more. I showered last night (and Bryan shaved my legs for me) and I lathered everything with vitamin E oil mixed half and half with some kind of body butter (same thing I do after every shower). I just don't get to shower that often so it isn't really much more than once or twice a week that I put it on. So far it has made my skin pretty stretchy, but the lower part of my abdomen is really stretched much more than it was now that the baby is so much lower, so I can see why I got one.
I have been having that pinching sharp feeling on my cervix that I saw I mentioned around 38 weeks last pregnancy. The one that Dr. Payne described as the baby's head turning on the cervix thinning it. It's uncomfortable but makes me hopeful that some progress toward a baby coming out is being made.
I think nesting has started. I fear every night that this kid is coming to I go like crazy during the day trying to get as much done before he gets here as I can because I am supposed to rest afterword to let everything heal up nicely. Twi and Jason came to stay from Thanksgiving mid day to Sunday mid day. I have been including them in my nesting since Jason asked what they could do to help. With everyone's help in just a few days we have cleaned the garage, which was a disaster, put up Christmas lights, acquired put up and decorated a christmas tree, took a few desired maternity pictures, covered the garden with the rest of the maple leaves, tacked the tarps back down on the barn roof, hemmed 6 swaddle blankets and died two of them red, moved the newborn clothes to the night stand in our bedroom, scrubbed the master bathroom and created a newborn diaper changing station, and not on my list and Jason's idea was remove remaining bits of wedding nail polish from my toes and paint my nails red. Boy to I feel loved. They have been here taking care of Josiah for me, cooking meals and keeping the kitchen clean and the dishes done. Letting me work on whatever little things I can accomplish and doing all the hard tasks so graciously. Twi takes Josiah outside to play all the time to wear him and her both out. I just assumed my list wasn't going to get accomplished and I was ok with it, but now there is very little to nothing left that I need to do now.

Looking for the right Christmas tree. Josiah insisted on carrying the saw. 

Josiah stole the saw from Bryan after he started cutting.

"Let me do it Papa." 

Loading the tree in the truck. 

The view of Mt. Hood from the tree farm.

Looking cool and keeping busy at REI

I want to take a repeat picture with the baby and crop the mirror portion of this picture to have me holding the baby. We also took this the night that I was contracting so bad I thought the baby was going to come and if we didn't take the picture I wouldn't have one. 

Josiah helped decorate the tree. 

A combo of the kiss the belly and kiss the toddler picture I saw and loved and a christmas tree maternity silhouette that I loved, so we combined the two. It was late and night, past Josiah's bed time, and he was quite fussy but the picture turned out great! Thanks to baby #2 waiting till Twi and Jason could come to take the picture for us, and help decorate the tree. 

11/23/14 38 Week Pregnancy update.

I have continued to have a lot of contractions. I think sometimes I perceive that they hurt because my abbs are separated already and that makes them uncomfortable. I read bank on this blog about posts from the same time fame and I described them as mostly painless. I also talked about a lot of downward pressure though as well. Maybe it's different because I went though labor and those contractions weren't all that much different than these... I am not sure, but I am glad to be past the point where anyone cares whether I am contracting or not and I can just wait until I am sure I am in labor before we have to call the midwife and go to the hospital. There's no need to stop them now! Sometimes, and for the last 3 nights in a row I have had regular contractions 5-9 minutes apart that last 45sec to 1 minute and hurt pretty back in my back and lower abdomen like period cramps. Some have been bad enough to make me do nothing but lie down and wonder if the baby is coming. Those nights I do restful things and put myself to bed and see if sleep will make the contractions go away. So far every time it has.
During the day how am I feeling?
I feel tired. I am glad to be only working one day at a time.
I feel best lying or standing. With sitting I have a lot of back and rib pain. I went to the chiropractor on 11/20 and got adjusted and boy do I feel much better. I had no idea my pelvis was that out of place and that my gluteal muscles were so tight and angry.  I think I'd better work on stretching those, I'll need them in good shape when labor comes. I get to go again tomorrow!
I feel pressure. I keep telling people I feel like I have a softball sitting in my pelvis. I don't feel any pinching that I described last time. Although the last 2 days during some of the bad contractions I have felt a pinching that goes along with the achy cramps feeling.
I feel shooting pain down the backs of my legs and sometimes like my knees are buckling. I remember that from last time and thinking that meant the baby's head was pushing on nerves as he descended lower into the pelvis.
I feel like my pelvis is trying to split in half in the front where it connects. It pinches and when I try to stand on one leg or lift one leg when turning it's excruciating.
I can still walk, but I can't really go briskly. I can still climb stairs but probably only 1 flight. I can still work, but not two days in a row. I can still pick things up off the floor but it sure is hard.
I weight 7lbs more than I did at this point last pregnancy. I have been having trouble gaining much here at the end thanks to small stomach space, so at least I am not up to 168 like I feared. I am only at 162. We'll see what happens if I have to be pregnant for another 4 weeks though.
From my posts before I don't really feel that much worse than last time I am just grumpier about it. I'll have to pray for an attitude adjustment to keep me going!

11/1/14 35 Weeks and Contractions Again

I started having a lot of contractions at work wednesday the 29th. I made it through and they went away when I slept that night. I spent a lot of thursday being lazy. We were babysitting Josiah's friend all day and through the next morning because her parents were a part of planning, setting up and taking down a big fundraising function. She and Josiah played really well. There were, of course, fights over toys and at times Josiah would try to hold her hand and pull her around but for the most part it went well. I rested on the couch a lot since they could entertain each other really well and I was tired from working though all the contractions the day before. It was very rainy so we didn't attempt to go outside.

Snuggles before nap time.

Popsicle eating is serious business. 

I started having contractions again while prepping dinner and while sitting and eating I had more than 6 and I wasn't even sitting there for an hour. My mom was over, just by chance, because she was delivering another load of stuff. She helped me by tiding the bathroom and installing a towel hook for my bathrobe so it has a home and doesn't always end up on the floor or the shower door. I mentioned all the contractions to her and she stuck around while we figured out a plan. I rested on the couch timing them and doing nothing for about 45 minutes and they didn't slow down or go away. They were 30-45 sec long and came every 3-5 minutes. I have never had them come that frequently even during my last labor, well maybe they did during the very last stage and pushing. I decided to call the midwife group. Linda, the one on call said I should give it two hours, try to rest or sleep and see if I could make them go away, if not to come to the hospital to get my cervix checked.

Being one day short of 35 weeks, I didn't know if this was labor if they would try to stop it, so we prepped for everything before I rested. I packed a hospital bag. Bryan put the car seat and a bag for himself in the truck. I set out my work clothes for the next day in case sleep was successful and my mom decided to stay the night just in case we needed to go to the hospital so somebody could be at the house with Josiah and his friend. 

When I finally did lay down at 10pm, the contractions did slow down and lighten up to more like every 8 minutes. I laid there for a long time, until almost 1am and couldn't fall asleep. Every time I would get close another contraction would wake me up. I finally called the midwife again and asked if this was labor if she was going to try to stop it. She was uncertain without examining me, and requested I come in. If they weren't going to stop it, I was going to stay home because I don't prefer to labor in the hospital. Since she was unsure and I wasn't excited about the possibility of a 35 week preemie or a Halloween baby, which it now was, I went without complaint. Linda, the midwife,  and a nurse were waiting for me when I got there. Maybe I should have told them how far away I live. Oh well.    

They monitored my contractions for 45 minutes. Checked my vitals and urine which were fine. Baby's heart rate was around 135 which they said was normal. My cervix wan't dilated and was spongy. Linda said I was at -2 and 60% effaced. I was sent home. I wasn't sure how I was going to sleep since my contractions were continuing at every 5 minutes but I figured it was better than being in the hospital. I called in sick to work figuring I would be unhelpful with such frequent contractions and so sleep deprived. 

We got home at 4am. Josiah fussed, so I went in and rocked him back to sleep. I went and laid down and had a lot of intermittent light sleep with dreams of labor and contractions. Whenever I woke up I was still having contractions. Josiah fussed a lot though the night and ruined Bryan's sleep. I am sure ready for this respiratory infection to resolve so he can breath at night an sleep. When he quit fussing Remmy started (by then it was 6:45). She went back to sleep once and then eventually my mom heard her and went and got her up. I slept ok from then until 9:30 when Josiah got up and there was a lot more noise. I was still having contractions, but less frequently and certainly not increased at all in intensity. My mom stayed until it seemed clear that I was capable of handling the two of them. 

Bryan watched them when he got up, and I got to go to work to deliver the bread, my contribution to the sandwich potluck and show off my Halloween costume. They were critically short staffed, and I felt bad. They were managing ok, but I wished I could be helpful. Even the contractions I had while I was there for that short time showed me that I really couldn't stay and help. 

When I came home, Josiah's friend was getting picked up. We hung out had lunch and chatted for a while until it was clear both kids really needed to get to their naps so they left just before one. Josiah went right down for his nap and slept 2.5 hours. I got a one hour nap and some internet time to help relax and read some things and like experiences to put my mind at ease. Josiah woke up in a good mood and wanted to go outside. I figured I could use a walk so we went and watched Bryan work on the driveway. He has been regrading to fix pot holes and adding gravel on top. One area got too deep and widened and is now rather boggy, so he was trying to fix it. It felt good to be outside and up and the contractions were no different than while resting, so I got a couple rakes and Josiah and I raked leaves until it was time to leave for pizza night. 

He was so good helping. He was kinda trying to knock the piles down, but they were so big he couldn't so just played happily with the rake the whole time. 

While out there raking, I was thinking about what I had read about 35 week deliveries and complications, and that every time nobody is concerned about all my contractions, so I decided not to care and just to keep on going as normal as I can and ignore them as much as possible until it is clear to me that I am really in labor. Of course if something seems wrong I'll call but I don't think I will go to the maternity ward again until I think I am ready to deliver. 

The closest I came to dressing Josiah up for Halloween. We have the pieces to a cowboy costume somewhere, but I couldn't find them all easily and wasn't interested in looking very long just for a picture and no event. 

10/24/14 Perspective

I had a Midwife appointment today. The baby's heart beat is strong and healthy. I am measuring at 33 weeks instead of 34. I am at 34 weeks. I haven't had consistent rhythmic contractions since last week when I went to get checked out. I evidently misunderstood my diagnosis by Patty last friday. She said I was having preterm CONTRACTIONS, not labor. Labor actually affects the dilation of the cervix, and mine was unaffected. Wendy, the midwife I saw today, doesn't seem to think I will have any trouble carrying this baby to term. She said that having a lot of contractions with a second baby is normal and she is not in the least concerned after reviewing all the information. She also said that after Halloween if I don't want to continue with my modified work schedule it's ok. She said at that point they wouldn't try to stop labor, so I won't have to be so careful. We'll see how this week goes and I'll decide.
If I look back and compare this pregnancy to the last one. It's quite rough. I had bad back pain, nausea and extreme tiredness for the first trimester. When those things let up, I caught a rather nasty upper respiratory illness that lasted 3 weeks and a little into the 4th. Around that same time, I started having contractions that were pushing my pelvic floor lower and I learned I have a cystocele. Between that and preterm real contractions the rest of the pregnancy has been rather uncomfortable.
During the rough parts I try to focus on the brighter points. Even through the nausea, I never puked. I found out that eating the white part of orange peals helps my nausea. My experience with nausea really wasn't as bad as many mothers' experience. My back pain was my disc acting up again. I already knew what to do about it. I just had to do the physical therapy exercises I learned last time, be careful not to bend or twist, and it only took 6 weeks to be back to normal again, unlike last time taking 16 weeks. I didn't have to take any time off work for it, and I have a loving husband who is pretty much always around and did a lot of lifting for me during that time. The respiratory illness came during camping and backpacking. It probably helped me make wise decisions about my capability and I learned that I could take benadryl after the first trimester and I was able to get some good sleep. The illness sure lingered but it could have been much worse. I don't have a whole lot I can say about a bright side to the cystocele. At least it isn't my uterus and the baby is safe. I am doing some physical therapy exercises to help, but am only able to achieve minimal effect due having the constant pressure of a baby and intermittent contractions to push on it even more. I worry what labor will do to it, but I really have no control over that and there is nothing short of a c-section to prevent that from furthering the problem and I would rather have to have a bladder surgery later in life than to choose a c-section for a chance at avoiding it. The contractions have helped slow me down so I am getting more rest pre-baby than last time. They haven't dilated my cervix pre-maturely and they may have helped brake the ice for me and being admitted to the hospital when labor does happen. Maybe that will be less emotionally traumatic for me now that I have been though at least their triage process and hung out in the triage room some.
I guess all this to say, sure it was easier last time but really it's not that bad. There are many other things I have not had to deal with. I haven't been on bed rest. I haven't had to decrease my hours at work, so far just changing them a bit is working. I haven't had horrible swelling or unbearable head aches.
I am so looking forward to meeting this little baby that God created without any medical intervention. I am excited to see what kind of personality he will have and how I will grow and change because of him. I am excited to start the journey of a family of 4 and see how we are stretched and grow though it. Just 5 more weeks until my due date, the time will fly by I am sure.
If I look back and compare this pregnancy to the last one. It's quite rough. I had bad back pain, nausea and extreme tiredness for the first trimester. When those things let up, I caught a rather nasty upper respiratory illness that lasted 3 weeks and a little into the 4th. Around that same time, I started having contractions that were pushing my pelvic floor lower and I learned I have a cystocele. Between that and preterm real contractions the rest of the pregnancy has been rather uncomfortable.  I had a Midwife appointment today. The baby's heart beat is strong and healthy. I am measuring at 33 weeks instead of 34. I haven't had consistent rhythmic contractions since last week when I went to get checked out. I evidently misunderstood my diagnosis by Patty last friday. She said I was having preterm CONTRACTIONS, not labor. Labor actually affects the dilation of the cervix, and mine was unaffected. Wendy, the midwife I saw today, doesn't seem to think I won't have any trouble carrying this baby to term. She said that having a lot of contractions with a second baby is normal and she is not in the least concerned after reviewing all the information from when I got checked out last week. She also said that after Halloween if I don't want to continue with my modified work schedule it's ok. She said at that point they wouldn't try to stop labor, so I won't have to be so careful. We'll see how this week goes and I'll decide.
During the rough parts I try to focus on the brighter points. Even through the nausea, I never puked. I found out that eating the white part of orange peals helps my nausea. My experience with nausea really wasn't as bad as many mothers' experience. My back pain was my disc acting up again. I already knew what to do about it. I just had to do the physical therapy exercises I learned last time, be careful not to bend or twist, and it only took 6 weeks to be back to normal again, unlike last time taking 16 weeks. I didn't have to take any time off work for it, and I have a loving husband who is pretty much always around and did a lot of lifting for me during that time. The respiratory illness came during camping and backpacking. It probably helped me make wise decisions about my capability and I learned that I could take benadryl after the first trimester and I was able to get some good sleep. The illness sure lingered but it could have been much worse. I don't have a whole lot I can say about a bright side to the cystocele. At least it isn't my uterus and the baby is safe. I am doing some physical therapy exercises to help, but am only able to achieve minimal effect due having the constant pressure of a baby and intermittent contractions to push on it even more. I worry what labor will do to it, but I really have no control over that and there is nothing short of a c-section to prevent that from furthering the problem and I would rather have to have a bladder surgery later in life than to choose a c-section for a chance at avoiding it. The contractions have helped slow me down so I am getting more rest pre-baby than last time. They haven't dilated my cervix pre-maturely and they may have helped brake the ice for me and being admitted to the hospital when labor does happen. Maybe that will be less emotionally traumatic for me now that I have been though at least their triage process and hung out in the triage room some.
I guess all this to say, sure it was easier last time but really it's not that bad. There are many other things I have not had to deal with. I haven't been on bed rest. I haven't had to decrease my hours at work, so far just changing them a bit is working. I haven't had horrible swelling or unbearable head aches.
I am so looking forward to meeting this little baby that God created without any medical intervention. I am excited to see what kind of personality he will have and how I will grow and change because of him. I am excited to start the journey of a family of 4 and see how we are stretched and grow though it. Just 5 more weeks until my due date, the time will fly by I am sure.

Being cute with a Red Robin balloon.

I love his little smirk. 

He went from tripping over himself trying to get away when the vacuum was turned on to swatting our hands away and just wanting to do it himself in about 10 minutes the other night. The carpets are sure cleaner with this new activity. 

10/18/14 Preterm Labor at 33 weeks

I am 33 weeks pregnant and a day today. I worked 2 twelve hour shifts in a row the last two days. Thursday was a rather busy day. I was resource for 8 hours and had a busy patient group the last 4 hours. Friday I was resource for 6 hours, the day shift charge nurse went home sick at 1:30 and I took over. I did some walking and a few boosts up in bed, but nothing like what a 12 hour day of full patient care would be like. I had contractions and the ends of both shifts. Real ones not just braxton hicks. They were very strong, probably 10 an hour, and painful and causing shooting pain down my legs and period like cramping by the end of yesterday's shift. I called the maternity floor for advice. They called my midwife, who was there, and she said since this is the 3rd time this has happened to me and since I was already there I should come get checked out.
They put me on the baby heart beat monitor and the contraction monitor for about an hour. I had 6 contractions up there, just laying down resting. The baby's heart beat is 145 isn beats a minute and more when he moves and more when I have a contractions. He is moving and kicking a lot. They say because he is fighting off being squeezed. He is head down and rotating very low into my pelvis. My midwife, Patty, came an talked to me and did an exam. She said that my cervix isn't dilated (hurray!), and that is is spongy (like feeling my cheek, not like feeling my nose like I learned with fertility stuff). When I asked if that was normal, she was inconclusive in her response. I think it's normal for it to start softening, but maybe not that soft. Also she said she could feel the baby's head though it, and that seemed to be another part of the not normal. She confirmed that it is my bladder that is causing the perineal pressure I feel. She said this is real preterm labor and that we need to stop it for at least 3 more weeks and hopefully 4 more. We talked about a plan and she said we could try just working one day at a time so as not to decrease my hours yet. If it works, good, if not then she will recommend just 8 hours shifts instead of 12 hours. Things she mentioned are usually problems with twelve hour shifts are not drinking enough water and a long time up walking. Since I didn't have those problems the last two days she figured we could try just one at a time and see if that helps me.  She wants to have me come to the clinic for an appointment on Friday next week to see how one day at a time is going. She also said if I have the real contractions consistently again and if I lay down and can't get them to go away I need to get checked out again. She suggested not lifting Josiah and resting though out the day as much as possible.
After talking about how my labor went with Josiah and what the week leading up to it was like, she seems convinced that my body is going to do it's best do deliver this baby even earlier than Josiah came. She suggested that I do nothing that would encourage cervical dilation (i.e. no sex) until it is safe for the baby to be born. He is still too little.
So here I am on the couch resting looking at my room, that isn't set up for the baby yet, thinking about packing a hospital bag, looking at my garden that needs prepped for winter and potatoes that need dug, and just sitting on the couch resting. I will probably try to do a few things but Bryan is probably going to have to do most of the work for a while.  Poor guy, he already does so much! I guess the bright side is my days of discomfort with pregnancy are numbered. Although it might be a lot more uncomfortable than last time, it probably won't be a 42 week pregnancy. We'll see. I leave it all in God's hands and I'll keep telling myself that the import thing for me to do is to keep this little one safe and inside growing until he is big enough to not need a NICU.

 So I'll be doing my best to rest for the next few weeks. Even if it is inconvenient.

 Because sometimes I'll just need to lay down for a minute.

 I will work on de-stressing and remembering to keep a serene spirit.

Go to these places in my mind and keep calm.

2nd Pregnancy Reflections

I find myself looking back though my blog posts and pictures trying to remember what it was like last time I was pregnant and how it is different this time. I guess I need to keep blogging because I want it for my own memory.
We are pregnant again. What a miracle this time. We weren't trying. We had decided not to prevent or even chart on a calendar just because we had to have fertility help to conceive Josiah. Then one day nursing started to hurt.
(Yes I made it past teeth and past 1 year and stopped at 1 year 2 months when it was hurting so bad from pregnancy and when Josiah was getting so fussy and not nice about nursing. There was one awkward prenatal appointment with a lumpy breast exam due to backed up ducts because it had been almost a week. That same day when we got home before nap, Josiah asked to nurse, he nursed nicely we both enjoyed it and it was the last time. I expected it would be and already thought we were done when he asked that day. The ducts were all unplugged and we both have a good memory of the last time for him.)
I avoided taking a pregnancy test for a while, thinking I was imagining symptoms. When I could ignore them no longer, I realized that, if I was pregnant, the due date would be very close to Christmas. Thanks to the timing of my own birthday, I was not thrilled about that idea. After a day or two of that fear I finally used a due date calculator and found out the date would be the first week of December. I decided that wasn't bad at all and so the next day I bought a few dollar tree pregnancy tests (figuring I'd have more scares like this each month). The test was positive right away. I actually brought the test out so Bryan and I could watch it change together. We spent the morning talking about potential baby names and didn't tell anyone even family for a few days while we got used to the idea.

The stats:
due: December 5, 2014
2 kids under the age of two
gender: found out it was a boy (after the only name we could agree on was a girls name)

name: we have had a lot of trouble with this but will probably go with Timothy Jacob Wright since is the only thing that hasn't been thrown out by one or the other of us.
symptoms: at first nipple pain, then nausea and lots of it didn't go away till 22 weeks, but no vomiting, tiredness, and rapid first trimester weight gain (7 lbs in 12 weeks...)
social: Katie and Melissa also pregnant with girls. Katie's born in August and Melissa wasn't due until October 8th, but delivered in early September.

Josiah and Natalie. 

Josiah and Eleanore. 

I have been seeing the midwives at Providence Maternal Care Clinic since we moved to the country on the east side. I will be delivering at PPMC. I think it'll be ok, but if I had a different choice I'd probably choose to be some place where I don't know so many people. The prenatal check ups have been great and just the way I like to receive care. They give me information and let me make decisions. 

Now that I am 32 weeks along I am having some complications. It keeps being changed what it is, but I think we are settling on some partial bladder prolapse, or decent or something. It is causing parineal bulging and discomfort. I have been assured that my cervix is up where it belongs so the baby is safe, and that isn't the problem. I just have to go to OT for exercises and maybe some day need a bladder surgery to hang it back up where it belongs.  I have a lot of contractions braxtin hix mostly but I had one hour of real ones. The real ones were probably related to the uterus needing more oxygen and me being a bit anemic. My hemoglobin count was 10.8. Good hydration, careful positioning when sitting, and iron supplements have helped. I am way less fit than last pregnancy, maybe not less active, but I sure can't run or move quickly and I think stairs are worse than they were before.
I haven't had any troubles continuing to work yet though! I am hoping to squeeze as many work days as I can in before the baby comes to maximize my available work time. I will probably end up with 3 of my 4 months of leave unpaid. If he comes on time or early and I am feeling up to it we will probably try to travel to California for Christmas to see my Dad's family and to see Bryan's family, since this is probably one of the only times I'll have this much vacation around Christmas.

Being pregnant with a toddler has proven to be hard for me. I try not to lift or cary him much because the pressure makes the bladder thing worse. It is hard to have the energy to keep up with him and to have the creativity to keep him busy and happy without over wearing myself out. The late summer weather has been a blessing since we can be outside so much. He loves to be outside and doesn't mind playing out there with me just sitting and watching. It's been fun watching him with babies. He seems to love them and want to snuggle them and pat on them like he does for affection, just sometimes a bit too hard. He doesn't seem to understand why we pat my belly and say baby and not his or anyone else's. He also doesn't get why each boob isn't also a baby. We'll see if he figures it out before his brother comes.