I recently read a birth story on one of the blogs I follow. The laboring mom was talking about how it was hard for her to say goodbye to her toddler even while in labor because she knew it was the last time he would be her only child and that her affections would be divided between the two, so to speak, the next time she saw him. I breezed over it and didn't really think anything of it. I certainly didn't expect to experience anything like it. But, ever since I have started to have real contractions, and especially since I went into preterm labor, I have been thinking a lot about how these are my last days with Josiah as my only child. This is the most focused I'll be able to be on just him. This is the most one on one time I'll ever have with him. I want to hold onto every moment. I rock him a little longer at naps and bed times. I drag out play and games longer. I hug him longer (which he isn't fond of). I am excited to expand our family and to teach Josiah how to be a good brother, but at the same time, I feel something slipping away from me. My time will be divided. I want it, for sure. I don't want to have an only child. It's just that it is so special to be able to give him all that undivided time and attention that I'll not get to do with my other children. It's a weird feeling for me, and sometimes it brings me to the brink of tears.
Needless to say with all this sentiment, I have been paying extra close attention during our play and our fun times soaking in every moment and every bit I can make myself remember about it.
I really enjoyed this day of just 20 minutes of play with his friend Jess. They had a lot of fun on the swings. Josiah did the slide a few times, but wanted to hold someone's finger each time on the way down. He almost pushed Jess down once. He did push him a few times in the swing, which did more to stop the swinging than to help it. It's pretty fun to see them interact with each other. They are very different, but seem to like each other well enough. Or at least Josiah really likes Jess, and Jess puts up with him.
Josiah gets most his rough and rowdy play out with Papa throwing him around and playing with him. I am not the best at that kind of play. I'll do it sometimes, but he gets a lot more giggles out when he is playing rough with Papa.
I am working on some more quiet, sit still, practice dexterity types of entertainment for Josiah to use at restaurants... or while I am nursing and Bryan wants to get something done... or needs to sleep or something. Play dough is one of them. I was thinking I need to get some play dough tools, but at first go, Josiah spent an hour sitting on the couch putting the containers in and out of the bag, opening and closing the zipper, opening and closing the play dough containers, and matching the colors up with the lids to put them back in. Maybe the tools can wait until Christmas and this will then be a whole new toy.
Also in the works, I have a bag of hot wheels cars and trucks, a bag of foam paper and safety scissors, a bag of stickers and a photo album to stick them on/in, a bag of night stuff (glow stick, flash light, glowing toys, and a press on LED light), and I am working on more.
I took this photo because I don't have many pictures of Josiah this big in his cloth diapers and we are planning on starting potty training in the next week or so, and I wanted a diaper picture or two for memories of adventures with cloth. Of course, any other kids we have will wear them too, but still I wanted a picture, or a few.
We have been doing a lot of pre potty training prep work with Josiah. We have been talking about using the potty, how we use the potty, and showing him his potty. We talk about how poop in diapers is gross and how we poop on the potty instead. We have been teaching him to pull his own pants up and down and many more things. Tonight, after the shower but before getting ready for bed, Josiah was acting like he needed to go. It took about five minutes of one of us sitting on the toilet while we both encouraged him to get him to sit on his. He didn't want to be on there, but once he did it himself and we praised him and clapped, he got all excited and did it over and over again. We were pretty excited for this new step closer to actual potty training and thought that him sitting down and getting up was all that was going to happen, but then Josiah peed in the potty... twice! Maybe he is almost ready. Now we just need a three day stretch where we go nowhere and do nothing but potty training. Potty training a 20 month old might actually work!
This is a video of one of Josiah's new favorite games. He loves jumping off of things. This one could get crazy and dangerous soon, but for now off a 18 inch ottoman onto a bean bag is cute.
An update on the baby things that are important to me.
Running postpartum is going well. Today I did 3.2 miles in 31 minutes with a stroller. Josiah does really well in the stroller. Sometimes he looks around, sometimes he sleeps, and he has only cried once. It was a time when I started walking for a cool down and he was hungry. Stretching after running is still a challenge because frequently Josiah wants to eat within 20 minutes of the end of the run. We use the BOB stroller and a Graco seat for running. The only thing I could improve would be for the stroller to have the car seat in a slightly more upright position. I really like having the stroller there to hold a layer of clothing after I warm up, a water bottle, and my phone. I hope I don't become dependent on it. Also of note, I find that I am not using the fixed front wheel feature of the stroller. Our roads just aren't straight enough to not be constantly lifting the stroller to turn.
Ran for Boston today
Cloth diapering is going great! I still haven't used a disposable since leaving the hospital. The Kissaluvs newborn diapers fit well, are really absorbent, and Josiah didn't seem to cry about being wet. They fit well even now, but the newborn Prowraps don't fit well any more, and we really like his one size diapers which fit well now. We used 24 Kissaluvs with 8 Prowraps, 2 Lil'Joeys, and 3 Swaddlebees Simplex newborn one size. We did diaper laundry every 3 days when using the newborn diapers. For wipes have 12 Osocosy flannel single ply wipes, 12 Osocosy flannel double ply wipes, 12 Thirsties fab wipes, and 12 microfiber washcloths. I use the single ply wipes on the go and the thicker ones in the wipe warmer. We are now only changing Josiah's diapers in his room, so I did we'll in coming up with a no cost solution for the temporary changing station in the master bathroom. We may have one more station in the future in the hall bath when Josiah starts eating solids and we need to use the sprayer on his poopy diapers.
Swaddlebees Simplex
Breastfeeding is also going well. I think my over supply of milk is finally starting to regulate. Josiah is 100% weaned from the nipple shield. I was very worried that he would have trouble with that, but there was no problem. I still have that healing sore on the left side, so I use the football hold to keep his tongue and moving jaw away from it. Lying down also works when I am somewhere I can lie down. Bryan is still feeding 1-2 bottles at night between 1-7am. Josiah takes the bottle very well. The Playtex Nurser slow became too slow and the medium is still too fast, so we are using Avent with #1 nipples and that works well.
Upright football hold?
Baby wearing is something we do every day. We love both the Moby and the Beco Gemini. They are both very versatile and comfortable. They have both worked for Josiah from the first day home from the hospital. Bryan had a little trouble with the Beco in the very beginning with Josiah's head falling to his chest. We decided that my boobs were what prevented that from happening with me. Bryan wonders now if he just wasn't adjusting it correctly. It may have been fine all along.
Beco Gemini
Here are some pictures from today...
All smiles this morning.
Staring Contest
Thinking pose
Pacifier Skills
And a video of finding the pacifier on Josiah's nose...
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